FUTURE TEE TIMES
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Saturday December 1st - 10:16 - 10:24am Azalea-Dogwood
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It was a great day for golf today. Eight golfers (at least they were dressed like golfers) showed up for today's contest. Unfortunately, the Club had disguised the greens on the Dogwood course to more closely represent those of a miniature golf putt-putt park. It was just like putting on a billiard table. A couple of the greens may have had a blade or two of grass to slow the ball down, and I think all 9 holes were on some type of slope! Very difficult to score with any consistency.....at least for us mere mortals. Having said that . . .
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Individual Honors
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Everyone except for the "Naked Gun" seemed to have problems putting. Ron, on the other hand, had three birdies and rumor has it, that he just missed three others by a hair on the impossible greens of the Dogwood course. Way to go, Ron! Posting a 40-43=83, Ron won both the point title +7 and the medalist honors. Those little Wofford "puppy" graduates can play this game "purdy good". There are some exceptions, but that's for another blog! BTW, does this man ever smile?***
Moody shot a nice 40 (40-44=84) on the front, but his putter got the best of him on the back. Hergy had a 43 on the front and played real stupid on the back....Duh!
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Team Honors
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The team scores really sucked today. Neither of the teams were able to post a positive score, so the winner is really the best of the worst. We had a split decision today with the team of Ron, Don, Tommy and Ernie posting a -1 1/2 on the front and a -2 1/2 on the back for a back nine and 18-hole victory over the team of the newly repaired Moody, Duke (the Sandman), Larry (POY Boy) and Hergy (Mr. Never Made a Putt if He Could Miss It).
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This eclectic group did manage to eek out a front nine victory by cruising to a -1/2 on the Azalea and then crashing and burning on the back by falling to a -11 1/2 to finish at -12! It was determined later that it wasn't our fault, though. If St.George, Orange Boy Brent, Grandpa Jack , TV Louie, Marshall (Raisin' Cain) or Wofford Boy Walter had shown up, our "karma" would have been changed and we all would have shot better and won.
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So, implementing a little known and seldom used rule in the HHH & S Constitution and Bylaws, Section III, Part A, Sub-section:1(a): "Those players who mess up the karma for the participating players by missing the golf outing must pay those players (Duke, Hergy, Larry and Moody) a fee commensurate with their losses." Therefore , each of the above missing golfers will be assessed a one-time fee of $2.00 + a $2.00 handling fee (payable to Duh Editor) before they will be allowed to win.
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In other words, (consider this a "curse"), you can play and pay, but you can't/won't win (especially if Don keeps the score). The vote on this issue was 5-3 in favor of implementing this rule. Hergy, Duke and Moody (ever the gentlemen) voted against it, but were overruled by the money-grubbing golfers they were associating with at the time.
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Larry was the ringleader, (he has lost the POY trophy and is trying to get enough money to buy a replacement - Larry, how can you replace an heirloom?) so get mad at him. When asked what we were going to use the money for, Duke would use the money to buy a sand pail and shovel to help him get out of the 9 or 10 traps he was in today, Moody needs the money to pay for putting lessons and Hergy, since his golf game is beyond repair, is donating his winnings to Clemson University to aid their football program in finding an offense.
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NEWS
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Rumor has it that Brent and Jack have "medical" reasons for missing today, but unless a note from their mommy is received confirming their bodies' medical breakdown, they will be assessed another fine ---- we're not trying to be difficult, but we need the money! (If your mommy won't write one, I'm sure that Tommy's mom will provide one for you.......for a fee).
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Tee times for next week will be posted by Sunday.
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See you then.....bring your money!
Duh Editor
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