New Blog Site Delayed - and You Won't Believe Why!

Well, I had decided to switch blog sites to one that was a little more tech friendly among other reasons. Furthermore, I had planned to introduce this new site with a Special Edition detailing the victory of the Wofford Alumni over the less competent groups (that’s what we refer to 2nd and 3rd place finishers) from Clemson and Carolina. To add a little spice to the article, I wrote to the Sports Information Director at Wofford and detailed the facts about the tournament and listed the alumni of Wofford who had participated in it. I also requested a reply from them and explained that I communicated with the golfers via a blog and would be happy to include their comments.

Much to my surprise, I received a response within a week or so, which I thought was classy of the Athletic Department. I had planned to use that response in this edition, but an unfortunate incident occurred. As most of you know, I have been in Myrtle Beach on a little golfing expedition over the weekend. On Saturday, unbeknown to me (I’m golfing) I received a “Special Delivery” letter from the Dean of Students at Wofford indicating that because of an incident with the Wofford mascot, I was forbidden to use, infer, copy or reproduce any portion of their letter and was politely requested not to contact them again. He further cited the fact that because of Federal Laws concerning individual privacy rights, he could not tell disclose his reason, but that it was a serious matter and would be dealt with by the University, the Campus security and the Spartanburg police.

Obviously, this raised my suspicions and I was determined to find out what happened. Using the capabilities of the world wide web, I discovered what happened at Wofford. The following explains why we cannot properly honor the Alumni golf team as true Champions.



It appears that when the Wofford mascot, shown here, heard about the victory of the Alumni golf team, he was so happy that he ran all around the room doing puppy flips and puppy somersaults and yipping away in celebration. Unfortunately, he broke a valuable relic of past Wofford athletic victories and raised the ire of his student handlers. In an attempt to discipline him (spanking his little puppy butt) he apparently snapped and went berserk! From here on, the story gets violent and I would not allow anyone under the age of 50 to read this.


He broke out of his room and made straight for the Student Union commissary. By using brute puppy force, he broke into the food area and proceeded to prepare a banquet of every forbidden puppy mascot food he could lay his hands on. Seen above, he is enjoying pizza, potato chips and a big sub sandwich. Additional photos are not available, but they show that he ate everything on his plate and didn’t even share!

When he was cornered and asked to surrender or suffer the consequences, he lifted his little puppy leg and pee’d on the pant leg of the Campus Security officer sent in to negotiate with him. He then ran off, losing the Campus Security officers in pursuit. Unfortunately, his reign of terror had just begun.

After evading the Campus Security officers and, by now, several hundred students upset that he had eaten all the pizza, the little puppy mascot, still crazed, headed off to the only refuge he knew. He had to flee to the safety of downtown Spartanburg. Of course, being only a puppy, he didn't know how to get there.


So, using a crow bar in his little puppy paws, he broke into the Wofford garage and stole, yes stole, his puppy bus! I say stole because he was not granted permission to drive at night! He apparently headed downtown, parked his bus and proceeded to hit many of the student bars and partied late into the evening. Upon leaving the last bar, with three coeds (one of whom looked like a dog) he was spotted by the Spartanburg Police. This gave way to a long, high speed, drunken car chase through most of Spartanburg, out on to the Interstate where speeds reached in excess of 45 mph. Clearly, he was not in control of his emotions at this time. Finally, he was stopped, arrested and taken to the city jail, and booked.



Although Puppy is in a lot of trouble, he has shown no remorse and has, in fact, said nothing in his defense. Maybe that’s because he is still so drunk he can’t even function. To date, Puppy has been relieved of his mascot duties, charged with 2 counts of breaking and entering, food theft, auto theft, sexual assault (he humped a girl in a bar), DWI, evading a police officer, failure to stop, under age drinking, and using a phony I.D.!

The University has issued a statement indicating that Puppy is through for the season and a replacement has been named. Puppy will be confined to his room, is allowed no female companionship, and allowed outside only to go to the bathroom. Whether or not he will be retained next season is up in the air.

Meanwhile his replacement will make his first appearance this Saturday and hopefully will lead the Wofford Terriers to victory! Go Terriers!