Golf Report - February 2, 2008

FUTURE TEE TIMES
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Tuesday, February 5th, 10:24 - 10:32 am Dog/Aza

(72 degrees, Overcast. 30% Rain, Wind: 11 mph)
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Thursday, February 7th, 10:32 - 10:40 - 10:48 am Dog/Aza
(60 degrees, Sunny, 10% Rain, Wind: 6mph)
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Saturday, February 9th, 10:40 - 10:48 am Dog/Aza
(62 degrees, PC, 20% Rain, Wind: 10 mph )

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Despite what everyone thought early this morning, it turned out to be a great day to play golf. In fact, it felt almost spring-like by the time we had finished. The course was quite wet from the rains and the greens were MORE unpredictable than they were on Thursday, if that was possible. The course played very long, without even the hint of a fairway roll or a bump and run around the green.
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All that aside, we had eight "swingers" this morning ready to test their mettle against Mother Nature and her minions, the greenskeeping staff! Of course, we lost the battle. Our skill level and the course conditions are just not compatible. That excuse being uttered, here are the results:

POINTS

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Well, at some point (like today) in our golfing life we've uttered the old saying "Even the blind pig finds an acorn, sooner or later". The same can be said about our "winner" today. Paintboy was the Points winner this morning, shooting a fairly impressive +7 (Best of 2008) to easily walk away with the money.

A number of golfers questioned that +7 number, but when it was determined that Don didn't keep score or add up his own card, (neither which he has ever shown an ability/talent for.....much like that blind pig) it became apparent that "the blind pig was loose and feasting on acorns" (more or less). The round of 83 captured the medalist honors as well, with only one other score in the 80's to challenge him. Bankerboy had a nice but inadequate 85.
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In fact, Tommy wasn't banking on the strong finish from a washed up old paintbrush and came home with a nice +3, but alas, it was substantially off the record pace set by Sherwin-Williams favorite son, DONNY. We can't varnish the truth or paint over the reality that Don just shellacked us today.

POYboy suggested that if the Paintboy does this again, we consider getting some kind of paint remover. :-) Sorry about those last couple paragraphs!

NINES

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This section may not survive February unless we start having some worthwhile scores to report. Paintboy and Bankerboy each had a 41; in addition a 42, 43, and 44 was turned in by Paintboy, TVLouie and B-b-b-b-bankerboy respectively. Of the five nines under 45, 4 of them were by Paintboy and Bankerboy! That is bad golf - 16 nines played today and only 5 under bogey golf!

Today's stroke average: 93.38 that's a D- in the School of Golf.

** TEAMS **

This section, much like "Nines" is becoming a joke. The foursome of TVLouie, IRSboy, POYboy and Paintboy won all three legs of the team contest. They posted a +3 on Azalea and an even round (0) on the Dogwood for a 18 hole total of +3.

Their competition (and I use that term loosely) shot a 2008 record-tying nine hole total -11 on Azalea and a much better -1 on the Dogwood to finish -12. Ouch! As a result of their effort, they set a new 2008 record for "crappiest performance by a foursome with clothes on".

For your information, it's very difficult to play that badly and not hurt yourself. The foursome of Tommy, Duke, Hergy and Dan should be congratulated for their perseverance and unfailing adherence to the primary team goals: Finishing without the aid of medical help; only losing 2 golf clubs and keeping our mental faculties in tact, scrambled, but in tact.

ITEMS

WARNING: Winter hibernation for all golfers will be suspended next week so that they can come out and join the fun. It is supposed to be the 70's on Tuesday!

POYboy was sporting his newly embriodered hat today. The hat appears to be quite large in order to accomodate the recording of his three POY awards. Luckily, Larry's head is getting larger as well, so as always, things seem to work out for the best. :-)

Duh Editor